Dating Tip #3: Take your time

We’ve all heard the following phrases:

  • marry in haste, repent at leisure
  • a stitch in time saves nine
  • fools rush in where angels fear to tread
  • forewarned is forearmed
  • rose tinted (lenses, glasses, spectacles?)
  • can’t see the forest for the trees
  • love is blind

I have to confess that I do believe love at first sight exists. Well, for some of us anyway. Precious few, others might say. But it does set alarm bells ringing when I see, or hear, of lovers declaring undying love 5 minutes after they’ve met. Only to part ways soon after. Ah, the incredible 3-month infatuation period. We’ve all been there, done that. Admittedly, it is wonderful falling prey to the amazing highs and excitement of new love; if only it would last.

If you make it to the 6-month mark, you have a 50-50 chance to make it to a year. After which, I believe, only then can you say you really know someone. Granted, there are exceptions, but after almost 20 years advising people about matters of the heart, I do think a person is in a better position to decide if they want to move in together,  get engaged, have a baby or tie the knot, after 12 months. Or better yet, 2 years and more.

Don’t rush, savour the first heady stirrings of love, but do stick around to make sure it is more than lust, the ticking of your biological clock, or a perhaps fear of being alone. See if you can put up with his annoying habits, meddling parents, nasty ex or wary children. Take the time to see if he speaks his truth, is stable and treats you well. Also, keep in mind a line I read a few years ago: “Be careful you don’t end up with someone you’re merely fond of instead of truly in love with”.

So, breathe deeply, take the plunge and dive into a new relationship by all means. Just come up for air to test the waters to make sure you havent hooked up with a wet fish, or swam with a shark. Time will tell.

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